It’s clear to me now that "vitamins" are a convenient excuse for druggies to ask for drugs. Though I wouldn’t have thought it before, (what’s more innocuous than a vitamin, after all?) events conspired today to bring this bit of clarity to my mind.
Consider: Scientists discover that vitamin supplements may actually increase the rate of mortality. Hell, if scientists are saying it, you know it must be true!
What an insidious plot! So after creating vitamins to give druggies something to ask for when they're really asking for drugs, the secret drug corporations created a product that only suckers would buy...and we all fell for it!
Consider:
Adorable? Or secret plot to turn young 'vitamin eaters' into 'drug doers.' Hm, perhaps 'doers' isn't the right word...what am I looking for here...oh yes.
DRUGGIES!!
I can see it now. Little Billy or Mandy love their Flintstones vitamins. They get their first dollar bill from Grandpa and head on down to the corner drug store to buy some for themselves. They ask for 'vitamins' and end up with illegal narcotics!! Next thing you know, they're strung out on the drugs and they're selling their plasma for the next dose! Scandalous!
Need further evidence?
Try this on for size:
Today an older gentleman came into our comic book store. He looked around a bit, waited until all of the other customers were gone, then told me he was looking for 'vitamins' or something. Vitamins!! I immediately intuited that he really wanted some drugs. I informed him that we were a comic book shop, and he left, disappointed.
Vitamins, folks. Be aware, be strong, and stay sober.
2 comments:
I never would have suspected vitamins as a code word for drugs, but your research is so convincing. I will never look at a flintstones vitamin the same ever again. If I ever have kids, I will never force them to eat their vitamins, for fear of turning them into crack fiends!! Thanks for the eye opener!!!
Michelle,
Thank you for your reassuring words! I am glad to hear that this project has reached you. The jury is still out on the vitamins found naturally in foods. To be on the safe side, I'd be sure to boil all of your foods and throw away the water, which apparently helps to rid the food of its pesky vitamin content.
Thanks for reading!
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